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TOPIC: ARGUMENT238 - The following appeared in a memorandum from the president of Mira Vista College to the college's board of trustees.

"At nearby Green Mountain College, which has more business courses and more job counselors than does Mira Vista College, 90 percent of last year's graduating seniors had job offers from prospective employers. But at Mira Vista College last year, only 70 percent of the seniors who informed the placement office that they would be seeking employment had found full-time jobs within three months after graduation, and only half of these graduates were employed in their major field of study. To help Mira Vista's graduates find employment, we must offer more courses in business and computer technology and hire additional job counselors to help students with their resumés and interviewing skills."
DATE: 2008-8-2 20:36:33

提纲:
1. 统计数据不可靠,两所学校的就业率不可比较。
2. 让步攻击,有其他原因可以导致找工作的不同。
3. 再次让步,MVC不一定能够照搬GMC的经验。

In this memo Mira Vista College (MVC)'s president recommends that in order to help MVC's graduates find job, MVC should provide more courses in business and computer technology and more job counselors. To support this recommendation, the president points out that Green Mountain College (GMC) has more business courses and more counselors. The president also indicate(可以用indicate表示指出么?) that GMC has higher employment rate according to statistics. However, it is problematic in several respects, rendering the argument unconvincing as it stands.

To begin with, the president fails to assure me that the statistic of MVC accurately reflects the employment rate. Without evidence that these seniors related to the statistic can represent the students of whole college, it is hasty to draw any conclusions about the rate. Perhaps it is most of such kind of students who felt unlikely to find a job that inform the office. Also, the president does not offer what kind of jobs the 90 percent of the GMC’s last year’s graduates find, perhaps the jobs they found are not as better as MVC’s. Furthermore, the president did not provide data about how long do students usually find their job. It is entirely possible that students need more time than three months to find a satisfied job. All those make the employment rates of two schools incomparable. Thus the president cannot conclude that GMC’s graduates are more likely to find job.

Even I concede that it is easier for GMC's graduates to find a job, the recommendation relies on the assumption that offering certain more courses and advisors was responsible for the higher job-found rate of GMC. The president overlooks other possible causes. For example, perhaps GMC's students have higher score than MVC's students, or perhaps GMC has better teachers. Either scenario would provide an alternative explanation for the difference of two colleges' graduates when they are looking for a job. It is also possible that although MVC has more such courses and advisors, since GMC has fewer students, which causes GMC has the same, or even more courses and advisors per each student.

Finally, even assuming that it is because of certain courses and counselors that make the GMC's graduates easier to be employed, the president fails to consider possible differences between GMC and MVC that might bring about a different result. For instance, MVC has been famous for other majors, such as physics, architecture. Therefore the future students of MVC are less interested in business courses. In this case, students will found the new offered courses tedious. Thus it will not take effect.

In sum, the president has not convinced me that it will help MVC's students to find a job after taking these measures. To bolster the argument, the president must offer more evidence which can prove that MVC's students are hard to find a job. To better assess the argument, I would also need to know some details of GMC and MVC; particularly, I would need to know the capabilities and interests of MVC's students.

posted on 2008-08-03 22:28 FreePeter 阅读(658) 评论(1)  编辑 收藏 引用 所属分类: GRE -- God Reading Enlgish

评论

# re: Argument238 不限时 && 改了一下,求拍。 2008-08-14 16:29 Bill White
给几个很general的tips...
for academic wrighting..use as many passive voices as possible...一般老外认为formal的句子最好都是不带人称代词的,像“i think.."什么的尽量避免。。。
尽量用名字。。。举个例子,比如如果你要写the city is highly industralized,,不如写成high level industralization of the city...名词天生比动词正规。。
连词尽量避免口语化,,,不过这个有时候比较难分。。。
厄。。你这个比我当年准备雅思的时候的水平应该要好~~加油吧~~  回复  更多评论
  


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